Oh, I can relate on so many levels. Last year, my husband and I (also in IT) welcomed our first son. We decided I’d stay home for at least three months but now we’re in month 12 and I’m not looking for an outside job yet.
I’m privileged that we don’t NEED two incomes but I’ve also been working since I was sixteen and not contributing any income has been a lot harder than I imagined. When I started my Substack last November, and even before that, I put this HUGE amount of pressure on myself to “figure out my writing career” and make it financially solvent while I had this time “off” at home raising our son.
I know, I know.
There’s a lot of unlearning and re-patterning I’m doing around my value as a mother/writer/creator. It’s hard not to want to see some external validation for what I’m putting into the world but lately I’m trying to focus on the fact that writing for me isn’t really a choice, it’s like breathing. And even if I was alone in a cave for one thousand years, I’d still be writing every day.
The money/creativity equation is one I’m still trying to solve for myself but ever so grateful for the gracious transparency offered here and knowing I’m not alone.
I’ve been there too! My maternity leave turned into not going back in a way that wasn’t planned. I don’t miss my office job and I’m so grateful we can live on one income, but the push to “side hustle” is so hard. I’ve been unpacking that for a few years.
Thank you for sharing this! I know so much of it is cultural but it still feels really isolating sometimes to try and unpack it. Glad for communities and platforms like this where we can connect to kindred spirits and other mamas!
Thanks, Sarah. I appreciate the free content and the sentiment. Most artists thrive in an ecosystem where there is a free exchange of ideas. Too many creators get stuck because they think of creative expression as a one way street. Also, I'm glad to know that you don't need a fancy microphone to do audio content.
This is such a great post, how often do we feel the need to contribute financially even when we are the main carer to our children? I feel this often and trying to make peace with my role as caring for our children especially our autistic son. But if I was financially free and didn’t have the weight of full time care on my shoulders, I would love to run free retreats for burnt out mums that need a rest and to be cared for.
Oh I’ve had similar thoughts about “wasting” my degrees since choosing to stay home with my kids and homeschool. Reevaluating how I define my “worth” after I stopped working a day job has been a years long process. I think the challenge now is... I have the privilege to pursue creative projects but I always hold back so I’m not “expensive” whether that be in cost or time. It ties back to women not being “inconvenient” to others. Who knows where I picked up that story.
Oh and in terms of what I want to do---spend hours creating art and writing in a studio alone. Perhaps to make installations. The thought excites me but feels “too big” (compared to a small framed artwork).
this is so interesting! I hadn't quite thought of it like that, but I relate to this, too (though I do earn an income, I question my non-familly / non-work time constantly, particularly when it's inconvenient. is it okay to take time from work and kids to write an essay... if I never publish it? is it okay to spend money on an art class that also pulls me away from work and family? I don't know! yes! but also, if I don't enjoy it because I'm feeling guilty and inconvenient... does that change the experience? also yes.
Speaking as someone who was homeschooled by a mom with a B.A. -- it's not a waste. The level of dialogue and critical thinking I picked up from learning alongside my mother (and father, who helped school me) was amazing for me.
Thank you! It’s the critical thinking and dialogue skills I think I worry about more 😂. It’s easy to follow a curriculum, harder to have the time and energy to convey more...abstract skills. I hope by the time they are old enough for that I’ll have it figured out.
Oh gosh, if I had the time and money to work on a passion project full time, it would probably be finishing my first book right now, but really just being able to focus on writing full time would be amazing. I have a whole list of projects across fiction, nonfiction, and poetry that I want to build out, I just don’t have enough time for them all 😭
What a beautiful post and invitation Sarah. I’m going to think on this today because as you know my bubble burst yesterday on the last one and Dave said I should tell my story anyway and get it crowd funded - the ultimate in exposure for a sensitive creative. I don’t know what I’ll do but I know I’ll not do much today and I probably won’t eat 3 brownies like I did yesterday! 👀🥹✏️✨❤️💫🌀💕
I’d finish my book. I go to write it now and I get pulled into this need for it to do super well. For it be financially successful so I can feel like I actually contribute to my family instead of feeling like I fail in that arena but also so I can feel like I’m actually good at stuff! I’m not the fuck up I often think I am.
Thank you for this post Sarah ❤️ I particularly loved this part - "I feel like we’re all expected to project this smokescreen of ultimate professionalism when the real magic is human to human connection". I think we are so conditioned to capitalise on our creativity that it's so easy to steer away from what really matters - connection. I joined Substack to rekindle my blogging passions and to just have fun with writing, but this pressure to add content to be worthy of paid subscribers has zapped my energy lately. This post has really helped me take some of that pressure off myself and to just focus on writing to hear from my community 😊
Thanks for the transparency! It's always interesting to me to see where others are at with this.
One of the things I'm hoping to generate a conversation about soon myself is transparency in what we are spending on paid subscriptions to others. I suspect there's a high percentage of people here who are hoping to get paying subscribers but aren't paying for a lot of subscriptions themselves, and I'm curious to learn more about that.
For my part of transparency so far, I'll say that I've only been on Substack for a few months (having moved my paid newsletter over from Patreon) and I'm slow at supporting other writers. But I have an overall commitment in my life to give at least ten percent of my earned income back to other writers/artists/creatives. At the end of each month, I'll pick one or more Substack accounts to switch to paid as a start.
Oh I relate. Since teaching is my "real" job, I really feel like I need to justify time spent away from family or improving as a teacher, but I really just want to create. Hoping my next book makes me at least a little money 😜
I guess in a way I'm already doing it? My husband's income is what supports my family financially, so aside from raising the kids, what I've been doing recently is writing here on Substack and writing my own knitting patterns. I'm hoping to make a bit of money - ideally, at least enough to break even - from these eventually, but I'm mostly just doing them because I love it, and they make me feel like myself.
I really appreciate this transparency! It inspires me to write something similar for my own dining room gallery project (which is a "break even" project for me as well).
After spending nearly a decade in commercial artwork and design, I tried to monetize fine art as a way to make money while sick. It didn't work out the way I intended at all, and I felt a crushing weight of not being able to "cut it in the real world" and felt that my sickness and motherhood were a liability (what nonsense, yet I'm still rewriting that powerfully negative story).
So now my goal is to work just enough to be able to meet our financial goals while having a dedicated and meaningful studio practice. "Break even with a little bit to grow," is where I'd put that.
Oh, I can relate on so many levels. Last year, my husband and I (also in IT) welcomed our first son. We decided I’d stay home for at least three months but now we’re in month 12 and I’m not looking for an outside job yet.
I’m privileged that we don’t NEED two incomes but I’ve also been working since I was sixteen and not contributing any income has been a lot harder than I imagined. When I started my Substack last November, and even before that, I put this HUGE amount of pressure on myself to “figure out my writing career” and make it financially solvent while I had this time “off” at home raising our son.
I know, I know.
There’s a lot of unlearning and re-patterning I’m doing around my value as a mother/writer/creator. It’s hard not to want to see some external validation for what I’m putting into the world but lately I’m trying to focus on the fact that writing for me isn’t really a choice, it’s like breathing. And even if I was alone in a cave for one thousand years, I’d still be writing every day.
The money/creativity equation is one I’m still trying to solve for myself but ever so grateful for the gracious transparency offered here and knowing I’m not alone.
I’ve been there too! My maternity leave turned into not going back in a way that wasn’t planned. I don’t miss my office job and I’m so grateful we can live on one income, but the push to “side hustle” is so hard. I’ve been unpacking that for a few years.
Thank you for sharing this! I know so much of it is cultural but it still feels really isolating sometimes to try and unpack it. Glad for communities and platforms like this where we can connect to kindred spirits and other mamas!
Oh the "turn everything into a side hustle" vibe just gets me sometimes. I find myself falling into that trap A LOT.
Yes! I’m slowly dissecting the side hustle pull from my life.
Thanks, Sarah. I appreciate the free content and the sentiment. Most artists thrive in an ecosystem where there is a free exchange of ideas. Too many creators get stuck because they think of creative expression as a one way street. Also, I'm glad to know that you don't need a fancy microphone to do audio content.
This is so so true!
This is such a great post, how often do we feel the need to contribute financially even when we are the main carer to our children? I feel this often and trying to make peace with my role as caring for our children especially our autistic son. But if I was financially free and didn’t have the weight of full time care on my shoulders, I would love to run free retreats for burnt out mums that need a rest and to be cared for.
Oh I’ve had similar thoughts about “wasting” my degrees since choosing to stay home with my kids and homeschool. Reevaluating how I define my “worth” after I stopped working a day job has been a years long process. I think the challenge now is... I have the privilege to pursue creative projects but I always hold back so I’m not “expensive” whether that be in cost or time. It ties back to women not being “inconvenient” to others. Who knows where I picked up that story.
Oh and in terms of what I want to do---spend hours creating art and writing in a studio alone. Perhaps to make installations. The thought excites me but feels “too big” (compared to a small framed artwork).
this is so interesting! I hadn't quite thought of it like that, but I relate to this, too (though I do earn an income, I question my non-familly / non-work time constantly, particularly when it's inconvenient. is it okay to take time from work and kids to write an essay... if I never publish it? is it okay to spend money on an art class that also pulls me away from work and family? I don't know! yes! but also, if I don't enjoy it because I'm feeling guilty and inconvenient... does that change the experience? also yes.
Speaking as someone who was homeschooled by a mom with a B.A. -- it's not a waste. The level of dialogue and critical thinking I picked up from learning alongside my mother (and father, who helped school me) was amazing for me.
Thank you! It’s the critical thinking and dialogue skills I think I worry about more 😂. It’s easy to follow a curriculum, harder to have the time and energy to convey more...abstract skills. I hope by the time they are old enough for that I’ll have it figured out.
Oh gosh, if I had the time and money to work on a passion project full time, it would probably be finishing my first book right now, but really just being able to focus on writing full time would be amazing. I have a whole list of projects across fiction, nonfiction, and poetry that I want to build out, I just don’t have enough time for them all 😭
What a beautiful post and invitation Sarah. I’m going to think on this today because as you know my bubble burst yesterday on the last one and Dave said I should tell my story anyway and get it crowd funded - the ultimate in exposure for a sensitive creative. I don’t know what I’ll do but I know I’ll not do much today and I probably won’t eat 3 brownies like I did yesterday! 👀🥹✏️✨❤️💫🌀💕
I’d finish my book. I go to write it now and I get pulled into this need for it to do super well. For it be financially successful so I can feel like I actually contribute to my family instead of feeling like I fail in that arena but also so I can feel like I’m actually good at stuff! I’m not the fuck up I often think I am.
Thank you for sharing. We are so aligned on this. I look forward to hearing about what’s next for you.
Thank you for this post Sarah ❤️ I particularly loved this part - "I feel like we’re all expected to project this smokescreen of ultimate professionalism when the real magic is human to human connection". I think we are so conditioned to capitalise on our creativity that it's so easy to steer away from what really matters - connection. I joined Substack to rekindle my blogging passions and to just have fun with writing, but this pressure to add content to be worthy of paid subscribers has zapped my energy lately. This post has really helped me take some of that pressure off myself and to just focus on writing to hear from my community 😊
Thanks for the transparency! It's always interesting to me to see where others are at with this.
One of the things I'm hoping to generate a conversation about soon myself is transparency in what we are spending on paid subscriptions to others. I suspect there's a high percentage of people here who are hoping to get paying subscribers but aren't paying for a lot of subscriptions themselves, and I'm curious to learn more about that.
For my part of transparency so far, I'll say that I've only been on Substack for a few months (having moved my paid newsletter over from Patreon) and I'm slow at supporting other writers. But I have an overall commitment in my life to give at least ten percent of my earned income back to other writers/artists/creatives. At the end of each month, I'll pick one or more Substack accounts to switch to paid as a start.
Oh I relate. Since teaching is my "real" job, I really feel like I need to justify time spent away from family or improving as a teacher, but I really just want to create. Hoping my next book makes me at least a little money 😜
I guess in a way I'm already doing it? My husband's income is what supports my family financially, so aside from raising the kids, what I've been doing recently is writing here on Substack and writing my own knitting patterns. I'm hoping to make a bit of money - ideally, at least enough to break even - from these eventually, but I'm mostly just doing them because I love it, and they make me feel like myself.
I really appreciate this transparency! It inspires me to write something similar for my own dining room gallery project (which is a "break even" project for me as well).
After spending nearly a decade in commercial artwork and design, I tried to monetize fine art as a way to make money while sick. It didn't work out the way I intended at all, and I felt a crushing weight of not being able to "cut it in the real world" and felt that my sickness and motherhood were a liability (what nonsense, yet I'm still rewriting that powerfully negative story).
So now my goal is to work just enough to be able to meet our financial goals while having a dedicated and meaningful studio practice. "Break even with a little bit to grow," is where I'd put that.